Rant Air – Welcome Aboard!

Rant Air – Welcome Aboard! random header image

Gags, jokes, etc…

March 11th, 2006 · 6 Comments

Trixie (not her real name) over at Cockpit Conversation recently wrote about a person who was new to her airline being smart enough to know she was being funned-with by a pilot who asked her to get him a “bucket of propwash.” Her response to him: “I’m not THAT new!”

That story got me thinking of some of the gags I’ve seen pulled on people who were new to the aviation industry. These were all done in good fun, of course!

When I was working for my first airline, the captain I flew with for my first month on the line was absolutely ruthless when it came to pulling gags on new flight attendants. I watched him use the infamous “bucket of propwash” gag…only to tell the flight attendant (who returned to the plane with a trash-can full of water) that what she’d gotten was actually “jetwash” and sending her back to operations to get the right stuff.

Other good ones:

Telling the new flight attendant that maintenance needs a sample of the cabin air for analysis, having her fill a small trash bag from an eyeball vent in the cabin, tie it off, label it, and hand it to the first maintenance person to arrive at the aircraft. I’ve also seen ramp workers standing behind a running turboprop with a trash bag, attempting to fill it with a sample of engine exhaust for maintenance to analyze.

Telling the new flight attendant that the emergency lights weren’t working properly, and after explaining that the “control box” that was located under the aisle floor in the middle of the cabin need a good thumping, having her go back and begin jumping up and down while we turned the lights on and off with the cockpit switch as she jumped into the air.

Asking the new flight attendant if she’d gotten the latest memo about signaling the ground crew to alert them to the cabin door being closed…the hand signal consisting of placing her left hand palm-down on her right bicep and bending her right arm repeatedly at the elbow, much like a common (and very rude) Italian gesture.

Speaking into the intercom in a very deadpan voice to the new flight attendant who has just called the flightdeck: “You have reached the flight deck of XX Airlines flight 3456. We’re too busy to take your call at the moment, but if you leave a message at the sound of the beep, one of us will get back to you as soon as we can. BEEP!!” And then, after they hang up and call back, repeating the message verbatim so that they actually try to leave a message.

Answering the intercom in an obscure foreign language…like Japanese.

Asking the new flight attendant to page a passenger by the name of “Anita Mann.”

But don’t forget…what goes around comes around!

I’ve seen flight attendants get back at captains by doing a couple of things. Lipstick inside the brim of the uniform hat is probably the most common form of flight-attendant revenge.

Tags: Uncategorized

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 GC // Mar 12, 2006 at 8:33 pm

    Ahh…comment moderation is a GREAT thing! Thanks, “Anonymous,” for giving me the opportunity to exercise creative control over my blog!

    I will be the only person to add content to my blog. Feel free to start your own blog and link to all the news articles you want about things you find “amusing.” See, if you have your very own blog, you can flame away at any airline you want to (if you so choose) and no one will reject your comments!

  • 2 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 10:39 pm

    Hi, Glenn.

    My intent wasn’t to flame WN. I just thought it was funny timing; the article about the over-the-top joke, and your post about gags, jokes.

    Sorry you took offense.

  • 3 GC // Mar 13, 2006 at 11:39 pm

    In a comment today, Anonyomous wrote:

    “Hi, GC.

    My intent wasn’t to flame WN. I just thought it was funny timing; the article about the over-the-top joke, and your post about gags, jokes.

    Sorry you took offense.”

    (I posted it this way so I could edit my name out.)

    Anonymous – I didn’t take offense at all. I’m just trying to maintain some control over the content of my blog. My assumption that you were flaming may have been off-base, and for that I apologize. I try hard to keep airline partisanship off of here, no matter which airline its about. I like my airline and I’m sure the people that work for the others like theirs as well, so I won’t be bashing any of them.

    Thanks for the response, even though you’re still “Anonymous!”

  • 4 Lauren // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:12 am

    Those are funny! I’ll have to tell my boyfriend about those… :) He just got a job with one of the regionals and starts training at the end of the month. Anyway, I love reading your blog… keep it up!

  • 5 Flygirl // Mar 14, 2006 at 4:37 pm

    Great post…I’m still laughing. Thank goodness I was raised in the industry so I knew to ‘beware’ my first few months. It was hysterical though watching the pilots get the other fa’s though. ;)

  • 6 Capt. Wilko // Mar 19, 2006 at 4:01 am

    Funny post! I heard a good one on Joe Podcaster’s Web site (http://flywithme.podshow.com/) a while back involving an FO who would not relent from asking a flight attendant out.
    In spite of her best efforts to turn him down, the eager co-pilot kept at it so one day she accepted and told him to meet her at her room an hour after the flight landed.
    When he arrived, she shouted to him from the bathroom that she was in the shower but invited him to join her. The FO, probably more eager than ever, gladly accepted the invitation.
    He must’ve had the shock of his life, however, when he pulled the shower curtain back, revealing the entire flight crew in swimming trunks under the shower.
    It’s a safe bet to assume that he never asked the FA out again!

Leave a Comment