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Father’s Day…

June 19th, 2005 · 2 Comments

This is my second Father’s Day. I’m spending it away from my family while I’m in training. I may see Father’s Day a little differently from every other dad on the planet, but I think the holiday should be more for the rest of the family than the father. It should be a day when Dad makes sure he is home to spend his day being with his family, telling them how important they are to him. It should be a day when the family spends the day with Dad, and appreciates him being there. Things like brunch and gifts are really secondary to all else.

*****

It’s been a bit under 13 years since my dad left us. He lost a three-year-long fight with brain cancer. I can’t remember the last Father’s Day that he was with us. There’s a lot of things from those years of my life that I can’t remember well. But I can remember what I was like.

I was pretty much a kid when he died. Nineteen. Dumb. Unsure of what I was doing or where I was going to go. At the time, I had subconsciously separated myself from our family, choosing to concentrate on diversions from the situation of watching my father wither away in his hospice bed. It was wrong for me to do that. What I should have done was draw closer instead of running away. But I was a kid at the time, and I didn’t know better.

A lot of things have happened since he died in 1992. I settled down and actually went to college. I got married. I had a kid. These are all things that he always wanted to be around to see. Depending upon what you believe, he probably was around in some way. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t in the kind of way that he could walk up to me, pat me on the back, and say “I’m proud of you, son.”

I know he was. But it would have been nice to hear him say that every now and then until I was in my late 40′s.

I’ve got to thank him, though. Without his guidance, I might have been a (much) lesser man. He taught me the importance of a strong handshake, and of looking into a person’s eyes when you’re talking to them. He taught me that the results of hard work towards a goal made the achievement of that goal all the more satisfying. Without his forethought and planning, who I am and the things I do now may not have been possible. At the very least, things could have been very different.

And I’ve learned from what he taught me. We’ve got plans for our little girl. She’ll know what it means to be able to set a goal and work towards it. She’ll know how important it is to make a good first-impression. She’ll know how critical a good education is. She’ll know all that because I’ll be teaching her what I know. They’ll be the same things I learned from my father. And if she takes what I teach to heart, she’ll grow up to be a good human being.

So thanks, Dad. More and more every day, I realize what it was you were all about. And I miss you.

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 John // Jun 20, 2005 at 5:50 pm

    Glenn,

    A poignant and moving commentary on Father’s Day and a nice reminder that it can be just a “Hallmark Holiday,” or a something deeper and more meaningful.

    I see a dramatic increase in freight the week before and after Mother’s Day, but virtually no increase during the weeks surrounding Father’s Day. Perhaps that’s an indicator of something …

    John

  • 2 Anonymous // Jun 24, 2005 at 4:16 am

    Hey Bro,

    Thanks for putting to words some of Glenn’s wonderful qualities. I know he would be so proud of you and be delighted with your beautiful family. Hope your Father’s Day was filled with heartwarming things. You warmed my heart with your blog entry.

    Love,
    Dinny

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